lm sitting here with my laptop, simply just mulling over things. Im trying to figure myself out…I’ve come to realize a lot of things about myself this year. Im going to tell you a few of these things. For one, ive come to the realization that im completely (and to the point of going to extreme measures to prevent it) terrified of being abandoned. I haven’t always been like this but under certain circumstances that happened a couple of years ago I have this amazing newfound fear. (Thanks a lot by the way) Im so scared of people leaving me, scared of breakups, fearfull of my family leaving me, A friend going away for a few weeks even…Its to the point of being absurd. I have also taken note that I really am dreading growing up and moving on from high school, whenever I talk or even think about it (and as im writing about it I feel like I just swallowed a couple thousand pills dry) Im always talking about how im going to move to new York city and start writing professionally, but honestly I have no idea how to do anything-I cant even drive!!! When the hell did I grow up? Im a lot more mature but in so many ways im just the way I was 8 years ago. I have also noticed I don’t have many friends; and the ones I do have I haven’t had a very long time; everyone around me goes away in the end I guess; and its always my fault. Always. Well, that’s all I got. If you got more, Please share.